conversations from work i may have taken part in...
PART ONE
guy 1: hey, know how i know you're gay?
guy 2: how?
guy 1: i saw you having sex with a dude. ZING!
guy 2: that's because you were the dude.
guy 1: your mum is a dude.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
guy (noticing girls leopard-print stillettos): nice stripper shoes.
girl: these aren't stripper shoes! stripper shoes have, like, a six inch plastic heel, and they're...
guy: hey hey, hold up. sorry i'm not a big expert in stripper-shoeology, like you are.
girl (distressed): but i'm not an expert in stripper shoeology!
guy: i never really look at their shoes anyhow...
(silence in office)
Monday, June 11, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
domestic duties
this morning i have been concerning myself with issues of house. mainly, lots of things i should do around the place but tend to, er... not. i'm just about to grab my g&t (at 11am! i know...) and wander around the place picking up all the crap i have a habit of leaving everywhere before, maybe, cleaning the shower. mine is a life to envy!
i'm also looking at houses! soon the lease is up and i'm moving back to where my heart is, which is westgarth, but house-wise it might end up being more of a clifton hill/fitzroy north type thing.
i've also been flirting with a very cute audio-typist from work, mainly via e-mail. can't think of anything else exciting to write, time to clean...
i'm also looking at houses! soon the lease is up and i'm moving back to where my heart is, which is westgarth, but house-wise it might end up being more of a clifton hill/fitzroy north type thing.
i've also been flirting with a very cute audio-typist from work, mainly via e-mail. can't think of anything else exciting to write, time to clean...
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
gay hotel?
discovered this while listening to jon faine this morning. originally the premise seemed to be that a hotel in collingwood had, via vtac, obtained an exemtion from the equal oppertunity legislation meaning they would be able to deny entry to heterosexuals.
i have to say, my immediate reaction was one of 'hey hey hey, hold on a second. i thought it was all about equality'. then, afterwards, i kind of felt bad for thinking that, really having no experience in being a member of a minority in the community in any way, shape or form. middle class, dude-shaped & white. i mean seriously.
but when the stated objective is to prevent insults and abuse being directed at its mainly gay patrons, i wonder why that kind of behavior can't be directly delt with rather than excluding someone based on their sexual persuasion. i've got several gay male friends, and i'd like to think if they were all like 'omg dude, lets go rock it up at the peel hotel', i'd be able to come along with them and enjoy their company in a venue of their choice.
to be honest, i feel vaguely uncomfortable about having any strong opinions regarding this. i'm kind of not sure why, either.
i have to say, my immediate reaction was one of 'hey hey hey, hold on a second. i thought it was all about equality'. then, afterwards, i kind of felt bad for thinking that, really having no experience in being a member of a minority in the community in any way, shape or form. middle class, dude-shaped & white. i mean seriously.
but when the stated objective is to prevent insults and abuse being directed at its mainly gay patrons, i wonder why that kind of behavior can't be directly delt with rather than excluding someone based on their sexual persuasion. i've got several gay male friends, and i'd like to think if they were all like 'omg dude, lets go rock it up at the peel hotel', i'd be able to come along with them and enjoy their company in a venue of their choice.
to be honest, i feel vaguely uncomfortable about having any strong opinions regarding this. i'm kind of not sure why, either.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
up late update
our large healh-care concern is on track to be purchased by another healthcare concern. AND they've already got a whole lab full of people who do exactly what we do.
some people are rightfully concerned.
on the other hand, i am simply craving some kind of pay-out. oh my god, please please please show me the money. i was planning on tripping overseas in the next six months, and that kind of windfall could seriously help the travel fund, although my exclamation of 'fricken sweet!' at the news we might all be losing our jobs was most likely inappropriate. sadly, though, in a quick auditing process, it seems like my department in particular is a hell of a lot more efficient than our opposite number in the other company, meaning it's more likely i'll still be stuck managing keyboard monkeys (it's like herding cats) and it's some other lucky bastard who'll be scoring the cash. gah.
in this environment of uncertainty and fear, i'm really really really looking forward to the big work cocktail party saturday night at the aquarium. a bunch of people facing unemployment plus an open bar? solid gold. it also means i get a chance to use The Amazing Multi-Purpose Suit (tm). it was given to my by an indian mystic who i met during my travels in the far east, who said:
'my son, as long as you are possessing this magical suit, you'll never have need for any other. it will fulfill all your suit-related needs, in this life, and the next.'
alternately, it could be that i only own one suit. luckily i wear it so rarely that people have forgotten i was wearing the exact same thing at whichever prior suit-wearing event i was wearing it at. this is me checking it still fits. hoooray!
clearly when considering what occupations the future has in store for me, high on my list are that of undertaker, mob hit-man & johnny cash.
some people are rightfully concerned.
on the other hand, i am simply craving some kind of pay-out. oh my god, please please please show me the money. i was planning on tripping overseas in the next six months, and that kind of windfall could seriously help the travel fund, although my exclamation of 'fricken sweet!' at the news we might all be losing our jobs was most likely inappropriate. sadly, though, in a quick auditing process, it seems like my department in particular is a hell of a lot more efficient than our opposite number in the other company, meaning it's more likely i'll still be stuck managing keyboard monkeys (it's like herding cats) and it's some other lucky bastard who'll be scoring the cash. gah.
in this environment of uncertainty and fear, i'm really really really looking forward to the big work cocktail party saturday night at the aquarium. a bunch of people facing unemployment plus an open bar? solid gold. it also means i get a chance to use The Amazing Multi-Purpose Suit (tm). it was given to my by an indian mystic who i met during my travels in the far east, who said:
'my son, as long as you are possessing this magical suit, you'll never have need for any other. it will fulfill all your suit-related needs, in this life, and the next.'
alternately, it could be that i only own one suit. luckily i wear it so rarely that people have forgotten i was wearing the exact same thing at whichever prior suit-wearing event i was wearing it at. this is me checking it still fits. hoooray!
clearly when considering what occupations the future has in store for me, high on my list are that of undertaker, mob hit-man & johnny cash.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
hmm...
saw the science of sleep tonight at the westgarth cinema. i'm completely happy to admit that i find films that attempt to articulate the complexity and chaos of love utterly wonderful, no matter what form they take. when they, in doing so, employ the talents of the beautiful charlotte gainsbourg, i am doubly blessed. is she the most beautiful woman alive? i think the answer is certainly maybe.
le sigh
i was somewhat inspired by the warm fuzzy-ness i was left with after the movie to be a little odd, in hopefully a nice way. for the last month or two, as i drive home from work, there is a window which i pass that happens to be constantly lit as i pass it, which at the odd hours i work is a little mysterious. all you can really glimpse in the few seconds a drive-by offers is a desk, lamp and top of a head. so, i came home (past the lit window), and wrote a note. it went something like:
dear mysterious window person,
every night as i drive home from work your window is inexplicably ablaze. what is it you're doing there? perhaps you're writing what will one day be known as a great work of fiction. perhaps you studying to be a doctor who will cure disease. maybe you can't sleep. whatever it is that keeps your window lit so regularly at such odd hours, i hope that your dilligence and hard work pay off.
and then i went and stuck it in their postbox. because i knew if i left it i'd end up being lame and not drop it off at all.
also: this may or not be forever etched onto my body. i'll give you a hint: it so is.
le sigh
i was somewhat inspired by the warm fuzzy-ness i was left with after the movie to be a little odd, in hopefully a nice way. for the last month or two, as i drive home from work, there is a window which i pass that happens to be constantly lit as i pass it, which at the odd hours i work is a little mysterious. all you can really glimpse in the few seconds a drive-by offers is a desk, lamp and top of a head. so, i came home (past the lit window), and wrote a note. it went something like:
dear mysterious window person,
every night as i drive home from work your window is inexplicably ablaze. what is it you're doing there? perhaps you're writing what will one day be known as a great work of fiction. perhaps you studying to be a doctor who will cure disease. maybe you can't sleep. whatever it is that keeps your window lit so regularly at such odd hours, i hope that your dilligence and hard work pay off.
and then i went and stuck it in their postbox. because i knew if i left it i'd end up being lame and not drop it off at all.
also: this may or not be forever etched onto my body. i'll give you a hint: it so is.
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