tomorrow i am headed home, not being from melbourne orriginally, because my grandmother is in hospital with some kind of scary heart thing, and i'm a little worried. at the same time, there is nothing i detest in life more than returning to the middle-sized town in north east victoria where i was born and schooled.
this is pretty odd, because i'm the first person to say how kick-ass my childhood/schoolness was. for eighteen years a had a ball. you might have seen a small hand-printed sign on your way into the city limits that read 'fun towne. population: me'
but somehow, returning there now creeps me the hell out. i can't escape the sensation that i'm a tourist somewhere that should feel like home, but doesn't. my disfunction is all over the place, too. for example, when i see a new shop opened or an old one absent, i get like one of those old men who can't deal with change. other times i feel as though the place is dying. sometimes i can't breathe.
seriously, what's up with that?
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4 comments:
you don't have to be from a small town to feel like that, sweet.
I get that feeling when I return to the not very far away suburb in which I grew up. The most comforting thing my parents have done since I moved out is to move house themselves. The new house has never been my home so I don't feel that disjointedness when I go and see them in a house that was once home but isn't anymore.
I home your nanna is ok.
x
I hope yr granny is going to be ok.
Also, I know what the deal is with hometown demons (if you can call it that). It's a weird feeling.
I hope it hasn't been too hard...
x
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